How many days have I got left?

Wasting my life away, one day at a time...

Friday, April 29, 2005

Keeping it real

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a great and glorious nation. Favourite amongst his subjects was the court painter of whom he was very proud. Everybody agreed this wizened old man painted the greatest pictures in the whole kingdom, and the king would spend hours each day gazing at them in wonder.

However, one day a dirty and dishevelled stranger presented himself at the court claiming that in fact, he was the greatest painter in the land. The indignant king decreed a competition would be held between the two artists, confident that it would teach the vagabond a lesson. Within a month they were both to produce a picture so glorious it would make grown men cry.

After thirty days of working feverishly day and night, both artists were ready. They placed their paintings, each hidden by a cloth, on easels in the centre of the great hall in the castle. As the large crowd strained to see, the king ordered the cloth to be pulled first from the court artist's easel. Everyone gasped as before them was revealed a wonderful scene-a table set with a feast fit for a king, at the centre of which was an ornate silver bowl full of exotic fruits, glistening moistly in the dawn light. As the crowd gazed admiringly, a sparrow perched high up on the rafters of the hall swooped down and hungrily tried to snatch one of the grapes from the painted bowl, only to hit the canvas and fall down dead with shock at the feet of the king.

"Aha!" exclaimed the king. "My artist has produced a painting so wonderful it has fooled nature herself, surely you must agree that he is the greatest painter that ever lived?" But the vagabond said nothing and stared solemnly at his feet. "Now, pull the blanket from your painting and let us see what you have for us", cried the king. But the tramp remained motionless and said nothing. Growing impatient, the king stepped forward and reached out to grab the blanket, only to freeze in horror at the last moment.

"You see" whispered the tramp quietly, "there is no blanket covering the painting. This is actually just a painting of a cloth covering a painting. And whereas your famous artist is merely content to fool nature, I've made the king of the whole country look like a clueless little c**t."

You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?'s that time again where I havn't made an entry for a while, so I don't know where to start. It's a Friday night and I have school tomorrow (A whole day of statistics catch up) so I don't really know why I'm doing this. Hmph. Oh well.

I had a 6th form interview on Wednesday afternoon, and was so unbelievably scared because this place is very reputable and, uh, elitist. I thought it went Ok though, and despite warnings from some of my friends that there were going to be tricky questions, there wern't as many as anticipated. Whether that is a good or bad thing, I don't know. It felt brilliant walking out of there though, knowing that I didn't have to worry about any more interviews, and could concentrate on doing other stuff. Like wasting lesson time doing drawings on paint. Yeah, I put all my doodley stuff into an album. The album title fits it like a glove.

I'm a little upset also, because my mum wants to give our dog away to some guy. The whole situation is a bit complicated, because my dad isn't looking after her well, and my mum said that she can't live with us anymore. Oops, just realised how that sounded--the dog, not the mother. I'm doing the "pushing stuff to the back of my mind" thing at the moment now. It helps keep me sane. I'm not really sure how things will turn out, but I can only deal with one thing at a time, and trust me, I've got a lot to deal with.

I have a habit of not talking about stuff to anyone. Which is bad, I know. But most of the time, people probably wouldn't understand a word I was saying anyway. Sometimes when I'm walking home and I havn't got anything else to do, I pull apart the bits of my personality and think about all the stuff I should change. The hard bit part is when I realise that I won't be able to do it myself, and that I'm actually still struggling with what I've become.

Thursday, April 21, 2005


Yesterday while I was bored, I composed this monstrosity:

Oops I did it again Mrs Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know, ‘cos you are the dancing queen you sexy thing. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn’t have to rock DJ, because you’re making me feel like a bat out of hell, and I don’t wanna miss a thing…I’m travelling at the speed of light, that’s why they call me a material girl, God only knows what I’d be without you, God only knows what I’d be without money money money, it’s like ten thousands spoons when all you need is a knife. A heart that’s full up like a landfill, summer in the city, where the grass is living for today, you may say I’m a dreamer without a trace of doubt in my mind, I’m caught in a trap at the hotel California, ice ice baby. There she goes, like a champage supernova in the sky, love me love me say that we all live in a yellow submarine livin la vida loca. All the people in a Barbie world, entertain us, take me on pussycat, woah woah woah ‘scuse me while I kiss the sunshine on my window, that’s what you are my baby love can’t touch this. Came home in the morning light, tears are filling up their glasses, cos there ain’t no river wide enough that keeps me from getting to a waitress in a cocktail bar and if you wanna know if he loves you so it’s in his brand new car. God save the queen mickey, you’re so fine, and love, love will tear us apart like a candle in the wind I hear your voice, scaramouche scaramouche.

To clarify, many of the song lyrics I included do not reflect my musical tates (oh God no), but they're all pretty well known. Some are from those songs that you have no idea sung them, but the lyrics are just engraved into your mind from hearing them so many times. For example, there's some Aerosmith up there. I hadn't ever intentionally listened to Aerosmith until I went to Disney Land Paris a couple of years ago, and went on some indoor rollercoaster that was endorsed by them. I don't know what song I was hearing while I was plunging into darkness, but it went well with the strobe lights. I also learnt a lot about their guitars while queueing-added bonus.

I'll give a gold star to whoever can name all the songs I included lyrics from.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Brain fluff

I'm feeling kinda weird today. Like, a bit insecure, but different...empty. I suppose this is going to be an entry of pure nothing, as I havn't really got much to say. I've got an interview on the 27th April and I'm really nervous, and I can't stop stressing over it. There's too much stuff going on in my life right now and I feel like I'm incapable of making any decisions, so I just end up shoving things to the back of my mind until they end up emerging a while later, covered in brain fluff but just as worrying.

My feet hurt like hell today after ice skating, and then I spent the remainder of my evening doing revision for maths, biology and French. Yep, I'm all Frenched out:
J'habite a Londres. Ma maison est grande et typique. Il y a sept pieces: un salon, une cuisine, une salle de bain, un WC et trois chambres. Ma chambre aux troisieme etage. Il y a trois etages. Il y a un jardin avec le bassin et une balacoire. J'adore ma maison parce que c'est agreable et le jardin est beau avec une poulouse, des fleures et des abres.

Feel free to translate, and correct my spelling mistakes. Whatever, it's oral practice, so I don't care. Stupid thing to type, but I don't like short entries, and there's some stuff in there about my house that I havn't mentioned before (actually, most of it is either simplified or made up, but it's not like it's going to make much difference).


The saying "If you don't like me for who I am, don't." is ok, but I prefer "If you don't like me for who I am, get off the planet." Yeah, that definitely sounds better.
To any readers: sorry about the weird entry. You can blame it on hormones, or something.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Come fly with me...

Look where I've been:
(Mauritius should be in red, but I had to scale the image as it made the page scroll and messed up the sidebar).

Just thought this was fun. To get one of your own, go here.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Casserole haunts me in my dreams.

Ooh, I don't really have anything to blog about today. So I'll start by mentioning a dream I had yesterday. Usually, my dreams are all foggy in what they might represent, but this one was crystal clear-I am afraid of failing textiles. It went something like this:

An unkown girl from my school is visiting my house, and I have my wall hanging (which I've made as part of the course) with me. So she says we need to fix it up a little and improve it, and ends up sewing some weird white jersey thing on to it. Then I get really stressed out and say that it looks awful and she's ruining it, so she decides to try and "burn the stitches off" on the gas cooker. Then the wall hanging gets wrecked, and she tries to hide the evidence by putting it in a casserole. So I find out, and I cry, because I worked so hard on it and the stupid bitch got it burnt and covered in casserole.

I woke up in a cold sweat thinking that for a minute, what had happened was real. I just have a thing for casserole, so I think that's why that was included...but textiley dreams? That's never happened before. Infact, I would classify this one as a nightmare.

Last night I also watched this documentary film called Spellbound, about spelling Bees in America. The whole thing is rather strange...and these kids, I mean, wow. One of them was 10, and could spell thousands of words that I've never even heard of. My favourite was this boy called Harry, who's face distorted into several funny expressions while he was trying to spell a word. It was filmed in 1999 though, so all the kids featured on there are actually older than me, and probably cringing in horror over the film, unless they're still into that. Not that there's anything wrong with it.

To anyone who's reading this: Enjoy your weekend. And be thankful I said that, because I don't often accomodate, let alone acknowledge my readers. On the other hand, that might be because there ARE no readers. Either way though, I can proof read this myself, and simile at the fact that someone is recognising I exist, even if it is myself.

(Dammit! I read into things too much. I should have just cut out everything after the first sentence...ah well. Curse you, brain.)

Monday, April 11, 2005


Here are two pictures from my photography spree.


Sunday, April 10, 2005

What day is it again?

Hmm, I don't think I have much to say about my week. I think if I say "first week back after the Easter holidays", that speaks for itself.

Monday-well, we all know what was going on then (woops, am I talking in schitzo plurals again?).
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday-crappy lessons.
Saturday-I did sweet F.A.
Sunday-I took a little trip to the cinema and saw Htich. It was an alright film, funny in most parts, not funny in a few parts that were intended to be.

I think I just suceeded in making that the most boring fucking weekly summary on earth. Oh dear, I swore. Sorry about that, I'm in a bit of a sweary mood.

I did accquire a digital camera from a friend today. I borrowed it to take pictures of my textiles artefact on Wednesday, but I've been taking advantage of the surprisingly nice weather and attempting to take arty shots out in the garden. I got a few nice ones of my cats, flowers and shoes. Tomorrow I've promised myself that I'm going to go out and take some pictures of this amazing graffiti which I pass going home from school. That sounds awfully sad, but it really is the best thing I've ever seen drawn on a wall. Makes a change from messy tags sprayed on practically everything you see. That's probably why it's been there for about 4 months now and hasn't been painted over. Incidentally, I will be SO pissed if I go over there and find some bastard has mutilated or removed it during my absence. I'll be sure to post the pics though, even if they are of an empty wall.

I have also reluctantly made myself a revision plan which will probably start on Monday. The operative word being "probably". It's really hard to just start something which you know is going to equal 3 months of hell. Then, hopefully, good exam results at the end of it all. So I should give it a try.