How many days have I got left?

Wasting my life away, one day at a time...

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Mmm, thorax

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How amazing is that cake? If I was throwing a Halloween party, I would definitely want something like that as my centrepiece. The method does look really long and tedious, especially making the rib cage, but I'm sure feasting on a spongy 'liver' would make it all worth it in the end.

As it happens, I (hopefully) will be going to a Halloween party this year...hopefully, because my friend's not so great organisational skills could cause the whole thing not to happen. It's been years since I last did anything for Halloween, so I have no idea what I should dress up as. Preferably something that is inexpensive, won't stain my face, and doesn't involve net tutus. Any ideas? I actually have virtually no experience with all things halloweenish. My parents never let me go trick or treating when I was little because it was "unsafe", which I thought was the most terribly unfair parental mistake. I'll be sure to blame them when I go mental because I never got the opportunity to run about in a witches hat collecting enough sweets to rot all my milk teeth. The only other time I went trick or treating was with my friends, when we were a bit older. It rained and was a total disaster.

Having said that, I guess the area I live in isn't the most ideal spot to go around knocking on people's doors in the dark. A few years back, a gang of teenage boys accosted my brother and the rest of the kids he was with, and they ended up on the pavement minus one huge basket of sweets.

Something a bit more jolly now-HALF TERM! One more day of school and then the longest term of the year can be crossed off the calendar. It's all uphill from here. Apart for exams, and coursework, and more assessed practicals in biology which are bound to go wrong. Plus the fact that it's going to be so bloody freezing in a few weeks that my feet will be 2 shoe sizes bigger due to multiple pairs of socks.

Despite this horrible, bleak Novemberness we have to endure during the run up to Christmas, I can't help but wonder why extra long tinsel curled round lampposts started to appear in Edmonton Green a week ago. Is Halloween being skipped all together this year? Screw tinsel; let's get some glowing bats up there. As tacky as that may sound, I'm sure the future of our society depends on it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Mid-week interval

Not that I haven't been bothered to write something here, I've just been so inundated with work and actually trying to relax a little when I get home that it just doesn't happen. Readers, are you out there? Have you lost interest all together due to my lack of...well...words on the screen? Writing absolute rubbish? You get the idea. To be honest, I do really miss having the freedom to just sit down, type out a blog entry, and enjoy doing it.

Right now, I'm meant to be doing my English coursework draft. I'm writing a close textual analysis on 'Kubla Khan', a poem by Coleridge (there's a link there in case you felt like symapthising with what terribleness I'm being subjected to). Perhaps that's a little melodramatic-I actually didn't hate the poem the first time I read it, but on the whole, I don't really find Coleridge's poetry that fantastic. The guy was on Opium and high as a kite when he wrote the stuff, and there's loads of repetitiveness about God, and nature, and how God is nature, and chasms, and oh...more God!

There are two more days I've got left at school, and then I'll be free for a week. I know there'll be piles of homework and revision to keep me occupied in the least appealing way I can think of, but the anticipiation of being able to sleep in late is almost too much to bear. Right, now I'll proceed to colour code all of my many ringbinders, sharpen my pencils and reinforce hole punched sheets before I finally get down to some work.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Caramel crunch

I had a good day today. It's been such a...well, relief! I'd been starting to think that days like this no longer exist anymore.

I've been wondering about how exactly I define a "good day". I suppose it's when the pros majorly outweigh the cons. On most days, nothing bad actually happens, but not many good things happen either, which makes it boring, which in turn, makes it bad. Therefore, an ordinary day can turn into a "bad day" quite easily. But then once I've had a bad day, I think back to my ordinary days and realise that actually, they aren't so bad at all.

It's all a matter of perspective. And having a terribly jumbled up mind, just like me, of course.

So...why was today good? Well, firstly, all my lessons after break were cancelled, so I got to go home, rather than having to endure 80 minutes of geography! Even better, I don't have a heavy load of homework to do this weekend, just some easy sheets and note taking. I caught the train home and spent an hour or two relaxing, before I decided I needed to get out of the house, and caught the bus to The Angel. Then I used my Border's gift card which I got the other night to buy the new Franz Ferdinand album.

There were 2 slight things that were potentially not good, but they wern't able to dampen my mood :)

To switch the tone of this entry a little bit, there's something else that is an issue playing on my mind. I'm involved with a slightly icky argument with my dad. Actually, it isn't an argument per se, more like a disagreement-me disagreeing with the fact that he's still on this Earth. I think I mentioned quite a while ago that I "didn't have the energy to be angry anymore", but now, it seems that my approach has changed. I haven't spoken to him since August. I refused to tell him my GCSE results, which school I was moving to and answer his phonecalls. I can see from an outside point of view that this must sound terribly extreme, but seriously, I don't want to talk to him, and it's actually much easier that way. He seems to think that it's some kind of payback or revenge tactic, and can't seem to grasp the fact that I think he's off his head and have decided that I'd like nothing more to do with him (for the time being, anyway).

I also had a horrendous arguement with my mum yesterday, over really...nothing. I tried to suggest to her to take down the stuff that's been on the wall since my sister died, and she went crazy. Which made me feel really, really guilty, but to be honest, it's my living environment too, right? Everything is still there, which just gets to me a little. It's been 2 and a half years. Lots of people I've met during that period don't even know of it, and I don't actually need to say anything. Yet we've still got all her things at home...and...arghhh. It's such a difficult subject to bring up, and I'm terrified to speak to my mum again about it, incase she gets upset with me.

Turmoil, turmoil. I should look on the bright side though-there's a sale on at GAP! And it really was a good day.