How many days have I got left?

Wasting my life away, one day at a time...

Friday, October 07, 2005

Caramel crunch

I had a good day today. It's been such a...well, relief! I'd been starting to think that days like this no longer exist anymore.

I've been wondering about how exactly I define a "good day". I suppose it's when the pros majorly outweigh the cons. On most days, nothing bad actually happens, but not many good things happen either, which makes it boring, which in turn, makes it bad. Therefore, an ordinary day can turn into a "bad day" quite easily. But then once I've had a bad day, I think back to my ordinary days and realise that actually, they aren't so bad at all.

It's all a matter of perspective. And having a terribly jumbled up mind, just like me, of course.

So...why was today good? Well, firstly, all my lessons after break were cancelled, so I got to go home, rather than having to endure 80 minutes of geography! Even better, I don't have a heavy load of homework to do this weekend, just some easy sheets and note taking. I caught the train home and spent an hour or two relaxing, before I decided I needed to get out of the house, and caught the bus to The Angel. Then I used my Border's gift card which I got the other night to buy the new Franz Ferdinand album.

There were 2 slight things that were potentially not good, but they wern't able to dampen my mood :)

To switch the tone of this entry a little bit, there's something else that is an issue playing on my mind. I'm involved with a slightly icky argument with my dad. Actually, it isn't an argument per se, more like a disagreement-me disagreeing with the fact that he's still on this Earth. I think I mentioned quite a while ago that I "didn't have the energy to be angry anymore", but now, it seems that my approach has changed. I haven't spoken to him since August. I refused to tell him my GCSE results, which school I was moving to and answer his phonecalls. I can see from an outside point of view that this must sound terribly extreme, but seriously, I don't want to talk to him, and it's actually much easier that way. He seems to think that it's some kind of payback or revenge tactic, and can't seem to grasp the fact that I think he's off his head and have decided that I'd like nothing more to do with him (for the time being, anyway).

I also had a horrendous arguement with my mum yesterday, over really...nothing. I tried to suggest to her to take down the stuff that's been on the wall since my sister died, and she went crazy. Which made me feel really, really guilty, but to be honest, it's my living environment too, right? Everything is still there, which just gets to me a little. It's been 2 and a half years. Lots of people I've met during that period don't even know of it, and I don't actually need to say anything. Yet we've still got all her things at home...and...arghhh. It's such a difficult subject to bring up, and I'm terrified to speak to my mum again about it, incase she gets upset with me.

Turmoil, turmoil. I should look on the bright side though-there's a sale on at GAP! And it really was a good day.


  • At 11:05 pm, Blogger Emlyn said…

    So, how's the new F.Ferdinand CD? Worth buying? Or more of a download thing?

    And just think--even if school's getting you down... you're just a week (or is it two?) away from break! Time off always helps make things better.

    No advice on the family stuff, though. If I knew how to solve family issues maybe I could sort my own's out.

  • At 5:36 pm, Blogger Miss Waffle said…

    I think the new Franz Ferdinand CD is good...I like the majority of tracks on it. Though £13.99 is way too much to pay for a CD, IMO. I only bought it from borders because I had a gift card, otherwise I would have shopped at cd wow where the prices are better.

    Ahhh, I can't WAIT until half term. Even after having 10 weeks off for Summer I still feel as if I really, really need a break.


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