How many days have I got left?

Wasting my life away, one day at a time...

Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Wow, half term is finally upon us. It's a horrible thought realising that I've got a heap of exams next week monday until the 24th of June. So I daresay I'll be having much fun.

I went to Derbyshire for the weekend to visit some was nothing spectacular, but just nice to get out of London for a bit.

Then tonight (though technically last night, as I'm writing this at 1:15am-ignore the non GMT time that shows up under my post) I went to this barbeque party at my friend's house, which was a bit of a strange experience. Naturally, there was alcohol, but I chose not to have any. Not because I was afraid of coming home and my mum finding me pissed, but to be honest, I just don't like the stuff. It tastes nasty and I really don't have any desire to sit with a bottle of artificial cherry crap in my hand, pretending that I'm having a fabulous time forcing it down my neck. To be fair though, there were no alcopops. Instead, they just went out and bought vodka, tequila and some other stuff to mix their drinks. Fine, ok, whatever.

Now I'm no expert, but some of these people did not know how to handle their drinks. I swear, this girl arrived and about 10 minutes later she was on the floor. There were only about 15 of us there, but seriously, I don't think half of them knew how much would send them from "happy drunk" to "passed out drunk". One girl totally started freaking out and crying, and apparently she was still like that until 2am. For me and a few of my friends (the ones who wern't rolling around in the garden), it was just very weird. The party started getting more and more boring and I ended up leaving kinda early. A few people slept over and my friends house was totally wrecked by the morning, but at least I didn't have to clean up. Ha Ha.

So apart from that, I havn't really been doing anything. Lots of revision to do this half term, and what makes it worse is that Big Brother has just started on Channel 4. And if you're reading this and thinking of some snide remark to stick in my comments, don't even bother trying to tell me that Big Brother is put on the air for people with nothing better to do than slob out on the sofa and stuff food into their mouth. I'll still love watching it. Although I've got to say that the producer's contestant picking skills really have gone downhill over the years. It seems to me like they've added "extreme arrogance" as one of the requirements. The only contestant who doesn't look in the mirror and see themself as God is a woman who believes that she's been abducted by aliens 7 times =
Ciao for now

(I actually am finishing this post almost 2 days after I started it. Woops.)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Tearful farewells

Well, that's it...I have officially finished school! Yesterday was a mad whirlwind of smudgy mascara tears and signed school shirts. I also did the signing thing (hey, it's part of being a teenager, however tacky) but I got my friend to sign right across the chest so I didn't get any boobs drawn on in marker pens. I also managed to avoid someone writing "stick your dick here" with an arrow pointing to the appropriate 'part'. Yeah, I do know how vulgar that sounds but I'm rather glad that I'll be able to cringe a little less when I pull it out from the wardrobe in years to come.

The sad part was that the school had told us that we were leaving on Wednesday, and then kicked us out on Tuesday afternoon, which came as a shock to everyone. I guess they did this to prevent mass egging and flouring plans, but people found out during the day and decided to graffiti the toilets before lunch. They stupidly left their initials though, and had to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning it up. Anyone dumb enough to write "This was my smoking toilet by V.L." deserves everything they get. I doubt I'll miss any of those girls.

After all the emotional stuff though, I'll be back at school on Thursday with some of my friends, to do revision in the morning, and then I have my French oral exam in the afternoon. I think I'm sounding very unlike me when I say "I think I'm going to do well in the oral", but surprisingly it is true. I honestly think that I've put in a lot of work and hopefully it should pay off and I'll get my A* in French (at least for the oral part of it). I've got a English Lit exam the following Wednesday, and then it's a whole week before the real scary exams begin.

As today is my first day of study leave, I've done a "plan" which is structured like the school day, so I'm writing this during lunchtime. Apart from me missing my first revision session because I overslept, I think it's gone pretty well and I've concentrated better than usual.

Another bit of school related news--I can't remember if I mentioned how shit scared I was about that elitist posh grammar school interview? Well, I got a letter last week, and I have a conditional place. I was so thrilled over actually achieving something, but the shock was so great that I had to read the letter about 10 times to actually believe it was true. But now, I've got to make a decision over whether to choose familiarity and stay at my old school, or go there, which has a stainless acedemic record, but risk being a total outcast in the world of stuck up competitivness.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The 12 O'Clock news

Hmm...I've been putting off making a proper entry for far too long. I have been busy, but I suppose that's not an excuse, seeing as I can usually make time for a bit of internet use during the evening ;)

Where to start last day of school is sometime next week. The reason for the "sometime" is that we've been told that it's Friday, but I'm 99.9% sure that the teachers are going to make it tuesday without telling anyone, to prevent a mass egging of the school by the some of the more sorely departing girls in my year. I actually think it's really mean to deny people the right to say proper goodbyes--we aren't getting any kind of year 11 leaving event so next week is really the last time I'll see the majority of my year group again. I'm planning to take a load of pictures though.

Speaking of which, I finally convinced my mum that we should replace our stolen digital camera. Last year my dad took it, got his bag stolen and then never bothered to claim on the insurance. £300 pounds down the drain...have you ever heard anything more ridiculously lazy? I still want to kill him for that amongst other crimes against humanity that he commits. Seriously, he infuriates me so much, it's untrue. Back to the camera though, it should be here at the weekend, so you might be seeing a few more pictures on here than usual during the "honeymoon period".

In other news, my brother (yes, he is 12) slashed someone's tyres yesterday and the man came to our door ranting and raving. I was actually on msn at the time, so I started documenting it to my friend, which sounds like a terrible infantile thing to do, but I had no way out of the room and wanted to stay a safe distance from the madness (whilst eavesdropping, of course). Apparently my lil' bro was out there with his friends, and used his friend's knife. It's really disturbing because I'd never imagine him to do such a thing, and there was some confusion over it (2 cars had tyres slashed, but one car was done by my brother's friend). So now we've got to pay for it, and the whole street probably hates us. The man who was ranting did say some very judgemental things which I was a bit angry about, but then I guess I'd probably react that way if some little brat sabotaged my tyres. So now, my brother is permentantly grounded and my mum is walking him to and from school. To be honest, the grounding is a bit of a relief, beause ever since he started secondary school he made friends with these boys in the neighbourhood who just 'drop round' all the time which is very annoying. It's like my brother x2. Or 5, on bad days.

After relaying the story about the tyres, I can just imagine all the judgements about what kind of a person I am and what kind of a family I come from running through your head. Don't worry about it. The opportunity to ask anonymous questions or air anonymous views still stands. Non-anonymous is preferred though. Or just comments. The more I write in this blog, the more things that I'd thought that I'd never ever write (or type) have been recorded in here. I'm not talking about this entry, just stuff in general. If I was to explain how turbulent my life has been over the last 2 years, I would probably sound as if I've just walked off the set of Eastenders, so I won't. Feel privelaged though, because you're stepping into parts of my thoughts that I don't think I've ever been to before. Of course, some things will forever stay locked inside my head, which you'll never know! Muahahaha! Yeah, I know. That ruined the insightfulness, didn't it?

Monday, May 09, 2005

Not Waving, But Drowning

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
~Stevie Smith

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Curiosity killed the cat

Ask me what ever question you like, anonymously. Or say anything you want about me-it can be the blunt truth, or something nice. Whatever you like.

Feel free to disguise your writing style.