How many days have I got left?

Wasting my life away, one day at a time...

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I shouldn't be here

I told myself that I wouldn't post anything until I'd finished my textiles exam tomorrow, because I'd have absolutley nothing to talk about. But then I got really, really bored, so here I am. I have been experiencing quite uncontrollable mood swings recently, so that might be why I suddenly got the urge to post on a blog which really is the icing on the cake when it comes to how lame everything is. Everything with me, I mean, so none of you other bloggers should be taking that personally.

My dad thinks that I have forgiven him, but really, I just don't have the energy to be angry anymore. Have you ever felt that way? Like you truly cannot be bothered with being upset anymore? I think it's working out to be a pretty crappy tactic, and of course, I am still very much angry, just giving off the impression that I'm just FINE, FINE, FINE. Naturally, when people ask me how I am, I only say "fine" once. I wouldn't want to come across overly sarcastic now, would I?

I think I must be "implosive" angry type. Like a cashier in a shop, who takes abuse from "explosive" angry customers, day after day and remains quiet, until she finally shoots everyone in the store. Or equivalent. It doesn't quite work like that though, I guess. I'm sure my brother is both implosive and explosive both at once.

Well, I think that's all for now kiddos. I'd better go outside, eat some watermelon and fool myself into thinking that nice weather can solve all your problems.


  • At 12:44 am, Blogger Emlyn said…

    More often than not, I think forgiveness comes about through exhaustion rather than any reconciliation between the offended and the person at fault. It takes a lot of anger to remain angry. Especially with family. It'll all be good in a few days. Unless it isn't. I have no idea why you're angry with your dad, after all. It might be something really serious, and I wouldn't want to belittle that. But if it's not that serious... might as well let it go. It's the summer and it's beautiful outside so why waste the energy on something not worth your valuable time. Go, crush the exam that is textiles.

    Why did you take textiles anyway?

  • At 3:51 pm, Blogger Emlyn said…

    And, ah, I meant to say that it takes a lot of energy to remain anger. Not anger. I mean, obviously it takes a lot of anger to stay angry. That's just be a silly thing to say.

  • At 12:59 pm, Blogger Miss Waffle said…

    Thanks for the comment. It is a serious situation, so it was good that you mentioned that,and not assuming that I'm angry over a new pair of shoes (which most people probably do at a first glance).

    I think I've been angry with my dad since early May 04, which seems rather extreme, but there have been small phases of calm. Or perhaps I was just kidding myself all along. I'll explain in an email or something because I'd prefer someone not to read a load of crap in my comments page. Plus, there's probably a character limit I don't know about :P

    I will be going out and enjoying myself though, even if there is no sunshine. Then I'll finally have something to blog about after monday which will make a change :D

  • At 1:06 pm, Blogger Miss Waffle said…

    Oops, I forgot to answer the question about textiles...

    I really do not know why I chose textiles. Me and 2 other of my friends decided to do it, but then later on in year 9 they changed their mind when given the opportunity to drop it for ICT. Seeing as I already had chosen ICT, I couldn't do that, and stupidly I didn't swap textiles for history which I really regret.

    I'd like to blame it on emotional turmoil or something, but sadly, I think I was just rather stupid. There were a few fun moments but mostly it was pure hell. At the start of year 11 I was close to tears thinking "how the hell am I going to survive another year?!". Thankfully it is over now...but my strain injury in my hand has come back after too much colouring in the exam.

    Damn you, textiles.


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